Hillary Clinton rescues “The Colbert Report” production team from technical difficulties, Barack Obama puts manufactured political distractions on notice, and John Edwards will endorse the candidate who gives him enough Kawasaki ski jets and lets him be a spy. It goes to show that comedy writers do at least as well as (if not better than) politicians in setting political agenda.

Mr. Colbert said in mock amazement, “Wow, Senator Clinton! You’re so prepared for any situation!”

Mrs. Clinton replied, “That’s O.K., Stephen. I just love solving problems.”
She also got to engage in some backstage chitchat with former Senator John Edwards, who was a guest on the show tonight.

“They saw each other and talked backstage for a few minutes,” said Mo Elleithee, a spokesman for Mrs. Clinton, but he declined to reveal what Mr. Edwards and Mrs. Clinton talked about.

Mrs. Clinton has actively courted Mr. Edwards’s endorsement for months, but Elizabeth Edwards has said that the couple would not endorse before the North Carolina primary.

Mr. Colbert then brought out Mr. Edwards as a surprise guest to talk about what Mr. Colbert said was the most important voting bloc this year: “White men,” he said.

Introducing Mr. Edwards, Mr. Colbert said, “He is out of the race. He is no longer a factor to be reckoned with.”

Mr. Edwards played along, saying, “You know, Stephen, you’re right about white males playing an important role in this election.”

“No white male vote is being courted more vigorously than this one,” Mr. Edwards said, pointing to himself. “There is no secret that both of these campaigns have sought my support.”

(Source: Clinton on Colbert Report (And Edwards and Obama, Too)

The candidate of the adult wing of the Democratic party who didn’t make it to Pennsylvania — but who looks better and better in hindsight — suddenly appeared during Colbert’s faux news report on the courting by Clinton and Obama of white male voters.

“Finally, America’s white men are being heard, and the candidates are attempting to address” issues of concern to them, Colbert said, as images of Clinton downing a shot and a beer and Obama attempting to bowl.

Mocking the efforts of both remaining candidates to secure his support, the former senator from North Carolina declared, “No white male vote is being courted more vigorously than this one.”

Weighing his options, Edwards noted that, on the one hand, he did not want to cast a vote that was “anti-hope.” But, recalling the response of a particularly virulent Clinton backer to former candidate Bill Richardson’s endorsement of Obama, Edwards said, “On the other hand, I don’t want James Carville to bite me.”

Restating his campaign call for a more serious focus on economic issues — which were almost entirely missing from Wednesday night’s debate — Edwards announced that he would vote in the upcoming North Carolina primary for the candidate who best advocates for ending poverty and providing universal health care.

Failing that, he said, “I will only support the candidate who promises to make me a spy. That would be so cool.”

(Source: Edwards Wins Colbert “Debate”)

We at Shallow Nation also liked John Edwards’ “universal haircare” proposal. We think he’s the one who got the “Colbert bump.”

In his segment, Obama evidently referenced what he earlier Thursday described as “gotcha politics” of Wednesday’s Democratic debate as well as Clinton’s ‘Colbert’ appearance.

“Sen. Obama!” Colbert exclaimed. “Won’t Sen. Clinton be happy that she fixed our screen?”

“I think the American people are tired of these political games and petty distractions,” Obama said.

Then Obama called for such “political distractions” to be put “on notice” — a staple on Colbert’s show involving a list of people and things that are to be watched out for.

Colbert answered, “I have to warn you, I probably don’t have a card for distractions. … Let’s see: Dimetapp, Dionne Warwick, Deion Sanders, Dion Comma Celine, dirigibles. …

“Aha!” he said. “Distractions” — ultimately finding a proper card to put on the board.

Obama told Colbert to take James Brady off the “on notice” list to replace it with his choice.

“Manufactured political distractions, you are officially on notice,” Obama concluded.

(Source: Truthiness and Consequences: Clinton, Obama on ‘Colbert’